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Losing – How to Recover

Everyone loses professionally — at least occasionally.  It’s a fact of life. Some lose a lot but are still considered big winners.  Some who lose big also get big wins. They win big because they are committed and take big risks with big projects.

Some take losing very personally.  It’s hard. They beat themselves up. They can’t put the setback out of their minds.  Some attorneys who lose a big motion, trial or client dwell on the loss for years. Early losses are especially hard to overcome.  It’s easier to make sense of losses when we’ve experienced some wins first. We can then put the loss into perspective.

What can you do that will serve you the most after a loss?  Quickly assess why the loss happened. Make notes on what you would change next time and perhaps a checklist.  Then, immediately focus your thoughts on what you did well. Every time a negative memory of the event enters your mind, consciously guide your focus to what you did right, the positive, and what you will do well the next time.  Ask yourself what will be better? Why was this an amazing experience? How will the experience make you succeed? Most importantly, get right back after the work you were committed to and try to get a win.

What Does It Mean To Overcome A Loss

Some losses can be traumatic.  It takes work to overcome them.  Overcoming doesn’t mean forgetting. Overcoming means minimizing the bad feelings you get when you think about the loss and what caused it.  Overcoming a loss means that when the thought of the loss comes into your conscious mind, it no longer makes you feel like a loser. Instead it makes you feel like a winner because you have overcome it.  You have forgiven yourself for any mistakes you have made. You quickly focus your thoughts on subsequent wins or other positive actions you have taken to overcome any shortcomings that caused the loss.  

For some this way of thinking comes naturally.  For others it takes effort and practice. Coaching is helpful.  Remember, there is no rule of nature that says you have to keep thinking the same way about the same type of event just because you have done so in the past.  

Continuing to focus negatively on a setback serves no good purpose.  You learn nothing from it. It harms you. It harms your effort. It makes you less successful.  You owe it to yourself and your clients to put past setbacks behind you and give full positive effort to what you are doing in the present and will do in the future.

Good attorney coaching will help you learn what you need from losses, put them behind you and drive you forward toward what you want to achieve. If you would like more information about Vertex Coaching please contact us to learn more.